Unwanted
by DOJ
Summary: I never wanted love but love, it seems, wanted me. RobStar ONESHOT


_I can feel it, dancing around me, the molecules sliding along my skin. It's shining now, like an aura shimmering around my lanky form – I can see it in their eyes. They can't understand what's come over me, the idea has occurred to them, I'm sure, but they can't seem to wrap their minds around it. And I can't say I blame them, I hardly believe it myself, and the logical part of my brain refuses to accept it. But it's there, there is no denying it, it is there. _

_I never wanted love. I'd seen what it did to people, seen men break the law out of love, seen them throw their lives away for love. And I'd felt the pain; oh how love had hurt me. Not like love, true love, the kind between a man and a woman . . . I'd been hurt by the most simplistic kind of love: unconditional love. I'd loved my parents, loved my brother, but love had made me suffer. My family had been ripped from me, and I didn't believe the whole in my heart would ever mend. It still hasn't. Oh, the hole's been covered over, but it's like how a hunter would cover a hole with leaves. Just because you can't see it on the surface doesn't mean it isn't there. I'm still hurting, but I'm willing to forget. I may never heal, but I'm willing to bear the scar._

_After I lost them, I abandoned all hope of loving again. I abandoned any want to love again. Then she came, dropping into my life like an angel falling from the sky or, rather, like a falling star. The second her lips touched mine in that harmless gesture, I knew. What I knew, I can't say, but I could feel it. Overwhelming understanding, comprehension, if you will, that the world as I knew it would never be the same. She turned the world upside down, inside out, backwards; she defied all the rigid rules of my fixed life, if you could call it a life. If anything that's what she gave me, a life. She gave me a reason to live, other than the vengeance I so desperately sought. She showed me that not all things are black and white or even shades of gray. She brought the colors to my world. Reawakened emotions I could barely remember ever possessing. _

_I never wanted love but love, it seems, wanted me._

Rain cascaded down the window, forming tiny rivulets at its pane. She traced one droplet with her finger, following its path as it merged with others, dripping down the silver rivers. Sighing, she placed her forehead against the cool glass, staring morosely at the darkened waves crashing against the shore below. The park, that's where she wished she were, lying back in the grass and feeling the sun warm her face. She wanted to giggle at Beast Boy's antics, to chat amiably with Cyborg, to try and convince Raven to join in the festivities, to take a walk alone with Robin . . .

"Starfire?"

She turned at the sound of her name, eyes lighting with silent joy. "Robin!"

"Are you alright?" He questioned, "You seem . . . sad."

"I am fine, Robin, though I do feel confined. Shall we not venture to the park?" She smiled hopefully.

Robin sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

_I hated telling her no, hated seeing the hope vanish from her eyes, replaced by sadness. I hated seeing the hurt of a small child flit across her features every time I told her "no" and she didn't understand why. She was lost and so very confused, a stranger to this planet; I hated to be the one to remind her of that._

"It's raining, Star."

"Oh," the light in her eyes was gone and pink stained her cheeks. "I had noticed, I just . . . I wish to understand why one does not venture forth in the rain. It is similar to the rain in the box, is it not?"

"Yeah, it's like a shower," he consented.

"So why do we stay indoors, perhaps this rain is harmful?"

_Why did we stay indoors? Because our parents threatened us when we were younger. Because the media markets materials to keep us sheltered; umbrellas, boots, coats. Because it is what's always been done. None of the answers seemed appropriate for Starfire, they never did. She was always so curious, making me question the small things in life I still took for granted, the acts left unquestioned. She made me think, made me expend the few cells that composed my brain to ideas outside of sorrow and pain. She helped me to forget. And I had nothing to offer her._

"No, there's nothing wrong with the rain." He answered slowly. "I guess most people just don't like getting wet."

Starfire's lips quirked into a smile, the type of smile Robin always took to mean "human ways are so amusing". "But we are not most people."

"Starfire . . ." he had a sneaking suspicion that he knew where she was going with this.

"Robin," she grinned. "I find it most tiresome inside, perhaps you would like to join me out of doors?"

"Starfire . . ." how was he supposed to refuse that look? Emerald eyes wide and pleading, only a small smile betraying her amusement.

When Robin didn't protest, Starfire grabbed his hands. "Glorious!"

_Spontaneity. I don't possess it. I have never thought of myself as a spontaneous person. Irrational, yes. Hot-headed, God-yes. But spontaneous? No. That was Starfire's area of expertise, yet one could hardly expect her to be so on her own. What good are spur-of-the-moment ideas if you've no one to share them with? _

_The team thinks that Star brings out the best in me. They don't say it, but I know. They put up with my rage, my burn for revenge, but their less likely to forgive than she is. And they know that somewhere along the way, somehow, she's become my one weakness. She's the one person who can break down my defenses, the only one who can get me to agree to almost anything. She's there, in my smiles and my laughter. And somehow I know that if anything were to happen to her I'd never smile again._

The droplets were cool against his skin, touching the few areas his uniform did not. Though Robin felt the refreshed sensation provided by the rain, he hung back, leaning against the wall as Starfire stepped forward, enchanted.

"Glorious," she whispered, stretching her arms out wide. She laughed as each drop hit her arm, her head, her nose, and traveled downwards, tickling her skin. Impulsively she began to spin, slender feet just narrowly avoiding puddles as she twirled. "Robin!" she trilled, "You must dance!"

Robin blinked, _what?_ "I don't dance."

Her arms fell to her sides and she stopped mid-twirl, hair whipping her across the face. "But you do," she insisted, "quite well."

Robin's cheeks flushed at the memory. "That was once, Star, that was special." He added so softly, he was unsure if she'd heard it.

Starfire stepped forward boldly. "Have you ever danced in the rain before?"

"No," he muttered sullenly.

"Then you must try. It is _quite_ special." She added, eyes twinkling. Once again she grabbed his wrists, pulling him close. "Dance." She demanded.

_I wanted to refuse, wanted to glare and stalk off. If it had been anyone else I probably would have. I don't intentionally go around making a fool of myself, but Starfire isn't anyone else. She's different. She's . . . special. I wanted to say no, I wanted to say, I wanted . . ._

Robin spread his arms as she had done and began to spin, unintentionally hitting all the puddles she had missed. He should have felt stupid, should have been miserable, but instead he felt rejuvenated and strangely alive.

_I'm not a spontaneous person but sometimes spontaneity can rub off on you. _

Suddenly, he grabbed Starfire's hands and pulled her to him like she had done, but unlike her he didn't let go. Robin's fingers laced through hers, their arms the only barrier between their bodies. Rain had succeeded in soaking them to the skin, but instead of feeling frigid, fire spread through their veins. Starfire's eyes were shining and Robin was smiling, truly smiling. It took several minutes before either noticed that they were flying.

_What's that song? The one from that movie she rented once . . . "love lifts us up where we belong." That had to be it, I knew it did. I didn't want to believe it, didn't want to believe I'd failed an oath to myself. But there was no denying it. Not once did that hole in my heart ache, not once did it scream for vengeance. Instead, I felt an overwhelming sensation of pure, unbridled joy. Given Starfire's powers we'd be halfway to the moon by now, and I knew it. _

_I'd tried hard to avoid it, but I'd caught someone's wish, someone's falling star that night so long ago. I didn't go looking for love, love came to me. Love found me, it chose me. I'd never wanted love, but for some reason love had wanted me. All I know is that I have love now, and I'm never letting her go._

_Fin_

**A/N:** Wow, that was fun. I found an icon with the words "Love never wanted me" (a lyric from "XO" – Fall Out Boy) and the first bit rushed me, I just had to get it out, and the rest sort of followed . . . though I'm not too pleased with all of it. In case you were confused, the italicized bits were Robin's thoughts, not necessarily at the moment, just in general.

Hope you enjoyed it – Please make my day and review

hugs to all reading this

_-DOJ-_


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